Gettin' Cold

Haiiiii! Okay so I'm sitting here freezing right now and I love it. I'm so excited for the holiday season and just spending time with the family and the boyfriend. Still working at Peter Becker. Makes me want to kill myself because I have to work every god damn day for 3 hours and I still only make 235 every two weeks. I need a new job so bad I can't afford life anymore. Went shopping last week with Richard and the mall just sucked. My shoes weren't in my size and I just wanted to cry but atleast I got him his shirt he's wanted. We went to the outlets after I finished work and that was much more fun. This week is going by so slow. I do the same thing every day. Wake up; Do school; Go to work; Gym; Sleep. I like the weekends so much more because atleast Richard's here and we do stuff together. The nights are always the worst because i get so cold and I just want to cuddle into my warm boyfriend. I really need a car so I can go see him during the week. It's rough going a whole week without him. When you realize someone is your life you don't want to be without them. I can't stop playing Gears 2 either. I'm obsessed with Horde and it's killing my life that I don't have haha. I'm trying to think of something fun Richard and I could do for a day. I want to go to New York so bad but without a car that's impossible. Maybe in December I can find a car and we can go there for shopping because it's so beautiful when its close to Christmas. Miss those days :]. Alright well I guess I should pay attention in class now. This blog is boring and pointless. MUCH LAYTA.

Obama '08

So as we all know Barack Obama is now elected the 44th president. I feel like some people are looking past the actual history that we've made here! Last night Barack said it himself; the blacks came over here first in chains slaving to our every word and now look! A black man himself is running our country. This is just an amazing time and a very hopeful start. I have so much faith in this man and I have no doubt he's going to clean up the mess that we've started. I've decided that along with a change in the world it is time for a change in myself. I feel like I've almost let myself go and it kind of sucks. I'm going to start going to the gym again &taking care of myself better. I need a new change to my hair too and as soon as I get the money that's going to happen to. &of course a nice shopping day to feed into my addiction. Everything else in life has been good. I've had a weird last couple of days with Richie but I've just been a grumpy head and I'm feeling much better now. I don't get to see him this weekend which kind of sucks but at the same time I know we need to spend time with our friends. Still makes me sad though. I think I've found a new job which will be nice to have money and a car for once right?! Well with that I'm out to do some school. <3

Happy Days

I literally just want to delete every post in my blog because they are so stupid; and I actually think I'm going to. I'm so done with looking at the past, and the bad things, and i'm so ready to move forward with all the new people in my life. I have to work everyday to pay the bills and still be happy but it's so worth it! I get to see my boyfriend every weekend and when I'm lucky he stays the entire time. I can not put into words how whole he has made me. He's still the best person to ever walk into my life. He's helped me be strong through so much and I just can't imagine anything without him.

Gabby's party was fun. Some people were lame/weird, but all in all I had a good time. Richie took care of me and helped me win beer pong :]. But I did sleep on the floor with him all night and let me tell you that was the worst night of sleep in my life. After everyone left it was nice to crawl into my bed with him though. We slept all day and then saw Saw5! Which I guess was kind of lame, except when Richie jumped. It made me giggle.

This weekend coming up is going to be fun. Working all day this week and party on Friday at Westchester. I really wanted to see my baby, but I'm not sure if that is going to workout. I get my new phone sometime this week to! I got the G-1! I'm so excited. Well I'm going to get off and go lay down. <3

Short & Simple

Okay, so yesterday was pretty good. Show was kind of a bust with all the people, but it was way worth getting to see some of my friends I don't see much. Best part was Bonez asking for a pic with hayley williams WHAA?! haha. Stina and I downed some coke and jack before going to the show so we rapped about some dicks in butts and ass to mouth i don't even know. Sorry Raf.

Richard and I are dating again. I sometimes can't even believe my life, or how lucky and happy I am right now. I forgot how much he means to me, and I can't even believe how I lived without him. I'm not the clingy or obsessive type though. I don't mean any of this in that kind of way. Its just when you're in love and you try to express it in words it sometimes comes out that way. I've never wanted to do anything for anyone before; but with him i want to do everything in my power to make him happy. I'd take a bullet for this kid. I'm just so happy with where God has lead me. I thank him so much everyday.

Schools a joke bye.

they're all the same

This Post has nothing to do with my life anymore; so I deleted it.

School SUXXXorz

Whoopsa daisy, lost track of this old thing. So the Summer is officially GONE!! OH NOOO. Haha syke, cause I do homeschooling, which did I say is the easiest thing ever. I just finished three classes a little earlier today. I have work soon too. I've literally been working my ass off to no extent. Oh well, I need the $$$ especially with insurance being $560 every three months. SOMEONE SHOOT ME!!! But yeah I also got my license which pretty much rules, so I can see some niggas now. STINAS HOME NOW!! God I really super duper missed her and she better not leave me again/ we better get an apartment together that'd be super good times!! My shoulders hurt so bad right now I could cry. OH YEAH, Recon was a bust!!! No one was there :[ but omg i love them it was some sick times with Aidy and Kenny. Alright Steve Wilkos is on plus I have to go to work in a half hour. <333

too long

okay so i really, really, really do not keep up on this but now i'm trying to get some shit off my chest. There's a couple things first off i guess i'll start with school. ITS OVER!!!!!! It's so weird to say that. I'm not going to be going to a public school next year and i'm going to actually miss some people!!! It was a good year and i want to thank everyone who got me through it! Ms. Hartman especially, thank you for being the most amazing teacher i've ever had.

Next is about a so called "good family friend" i'm usually against putting names up here on this but hell i'm supposed to say how i feel on this and be open about everything well then i'm going to ya know! Logan Wells i had a lot of respect for you and you were like a brother to me. I don't know who you even are anymore. It's so weird how things changed so fast. You went from being here almost every night to now only hearing your name occasionally from my moms lips. & don't even try and go blaming this on my mom because she didn't tell you to stop picking up the phone or talking to me. It's lame, thanks for being here for me always like you said. &also i've heard you got a new girlfriend and i'm happy for you... well i was until i heard she doesn't want you to be in touch with my family. I've never lost so much respect for one person so fast. I never thought i'd ever see you as this kind of person. You're more of a child than I am. You're just like every other man that has enters my mom's life. You're a jerk, you're pathetic. You're nobody.

Next is about my life personally. I've made some pretty bad decisions lately in my life. I can't take back what i've done but i would hope none of you would judge me for my actions. We all make mistakes some bigger than others and mine lately have been pretty big. I opened the bible for the first time in a while and i opened to one of my favorite verses that also fit my circumstances very well right now

"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28)

I'm putting my life in God's hands again. Its time for me to realize that I need to figure out how God wants me to work my life, Not how to work God into my life. Thank you to all of my friends who have been good to me, and have helped me keep my chin up.


One last thing. I found out the hardest thing to ever do is sit and watch your best friend suffer and feel pain. If i could do anything right now it would be to take his pain and put it on me. You're my best friend Ron and to see you like this kills me. I love you & you know i'm always going to be here, if you need anything just ask.

Oh and my sister graduates today, Love you Gabby!!!!!!!!
oh and happy friday the 13th SUCKKAASSSS

stop fucking up &grow up!!

whatta joke..

This Post has nothing to do with my life anymore; so I deleted it.

pick myself up

This Post has nothing to do with my life anymore; so I deleted it.

slackin'

totally slackin' off on this and it's kinda sad so i'm going to update. I'm not really sure what's been going on in my life as of right now. I feel like i'm just waking up and doing the same stupid shit everyday and its getting lame. I guess its a fault on my part though. Last weekend completely blew the big one. i mean i love spending time with the fam and it was way good to get away but still, i just haven't been having as much fun as i usually do. lamesauce. i miss a lot of people so much WHERE THE FUCK DID YALL GO?! Can't wait till i can drive and get to see the people who mean the most. LIFE SUCKS IN HARLEYSVILLE. On some realness though cannot wait to start cyber school. Totally syked don't care what people have to say to bash it. By the way i totally and completely miss you Ky Rodriguez ;]. Let's go to dorney park & the fig on saturday. Sounds good :]


anyway i guess that's all for now. this is so stupid. ugh.

forget me not

i really miss you. everything about you.
please don't forget me as time goes on.
i still care so much about you it hurts
everyday, but i know you're happier.

you know who you are. your perfect.
i wubba you.

realization

i just realized something;
people stop caring.

taco munchin'

listen if you don't like what i have to say then don't read what i'm writing all right? i've had a couple people be like "WHAT THE FUCKK" but really if you got a problem take it up personally with me, don't be spreading shit. Alright thanks, anyway... shits been rough with the boyfriend. I'm not really sure where me and him are headed but we're going to do our best to get through this tough part. All relationships hit bumpy rocks on the way right? Who fuckin' cares i love him and it's almost summer! Trying to hang out with some good people like old times. 3 more months until i'm driving so excited! I deff want to see everyone especially you reading kids who i miss the fuck out of. I also miss my good friend Amy Green and Eric Silverman good ass times with them. "YOU TOLD ME TO EAT THE TACO THEN YOU LAUGHEDD?!?!?!" Anyways i got to go off to the gym soon so i'm going to get ready and eat real fast. my dogs like barfing also. Anyway sorry this is the worst post ever.

skin deep

i've realized a lot of shit keeps changing and it's happening way too fast. i can't keep my emotions in line and i find myself lurking in the past. i can't bring it back, the end, it's gone. i want to move on but i can't. so many good memories, so many good people, all gone. my old best friend of six years grew up and now is in a treatment home. how can things go from great to shit so fast. i've given up on so many people. i find myself complaining about things more and more when i should be greatful and excited for what my future holds. i've treated some amazing people like shit and lost my way with my lord and savior. i can't figure out what's happening next but i promise it's time for me to let go and change with everything and everyone else. no more complaining and tears. i'm sorry if i've taken any of you for granted these past few months and even years. i'm mostly changing for myself though, because i want to be happy like i used to be but in a new and better way. i think i'll start by toning my body in a healthy way with excercise.

JABBAWOCKEEZ

So I watched America's Best Dance Crew last night!! &i knew these motherfuckers were gonna win! Straight up love them. They're dancing was and still is better than status quo. Even though all those guys were hot jabbawockeez just kicked their ass. Anyway, today I hungout with my friend Jess and some of her friends who were really cool. I had a lot of fun. I ended up not buying Kgreco anything though when we went to the mall so I think I'll just give her cash! It was really hard!!!! Richie couldn't come up tonight BUMMER! So I guess i'll just be illin at home for the rest of the night. Not much else to really say. Oh, but I seriously miss Tyler and Ron so much, just come back into my life you guys!!

bored shitlesssss.,

So I saw Ape and Rycal using this thing and I'm bored out of my mind so I thought that I would make one too. Yeah whatever. I've been so bored with life lately. I feel like I never do ANYTHING. It sucks. This weekend hopefully Richie's going to come up Friday. I hate this long distance bullshit but he's worth it. Saturday I think I'm going to try and stop by Kgreco's birthday party. I feel like her and I aren't even friends any more let alone share the same interests. I feel like she's just trying to be like everyone else. I miss her though, when we used to hangout she had a great personality. Anyway, Carla and I were planning to go up and see Dave & Rycal. I miss the hell out of Ryan. I think I'm finally starting to really love Dave, he cracks me up. I feel like I've completely lost Mikey to drugs. He was my best friend and now I feel he's so distant. He's still sweet as hell, but it just isn't the same anymore, but things change am I right? I've been working so much it's seriously destroying me. I'm always sleeping after school but i do got a lot of $$$$$!!! And I already got a lot for a car, so i'm feeling pretty good about that. I'm thinking about starting to take photography classes, I got this nice ass camera and it would be nice if I had a better understanding of how to take some nice ass pictures. Anyone know any good photography classes around here let me know, cause seriously my school sucks!!!! Alright well, i've ranted enough about nothing. Time for some COD4 or Halo. If you play add me i'm always looking for a real challenge ;].