snapesnapesnaveroussnape

Hello my lost blog,
How alone you must feel and quite neglected to say the least. When was the last time I touched you? A year ago? The deepest of apologies and regrets for ignoring you. I'm sitting here with Tyla while she types a paper about an old woman named Granny Gertrude. I'm waiting to go and play thy Wii that thy boyfriend Richard Newman the third has bought thyself. It sits in the very depths of my living room, past the lighting fixtures and the loud ravenous surround sound. It calls my name like the one ring. I feed off of it. All of my strength being drained from the very need of it! I have no work for the next four days and my very soul shrieks with pleasure. Ah, the feeling of no stress and lightness, like I could fly! The very thought sends me aloft. I'm also job searching and I get to leave the hell hole I call Peter Becker. Yes, I will finally stand for what I believe in... which that I am not quite sure but the point is FREE AT LAST FREE AT LAST THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I AM FREE AT LAST. Much love my african american brother.

indescribable amorousness

I've never been to sure about anything in my life. Always second guessing myself and questioning things; but you are unquestionable. They say you'll know love from the minute it hits you. Well with you love is like an oncoming train; and every time I see you it hits me again and again. I'm seventeen years old but I know what I want. I want you; everyday. Not just 'til tomorrow or the next day, but everyday. Everyday for the rest of my life. Sometimes when you're sleeping next to me I look over at you and so many feelings hit me at once. I can't explain the rush. My heart flutters and I wonder how I got so amazingly lucky. I love everything about you. The way you smell, your smile, your style, your personality; the way you have the ability to make me laugh at anything you say, how you keep me under control when I feel my life is spinning out of it, your eyes, your smile, the way my hand fits into yours. The best part though is still in those moments when you're sleeping, and I can just think about the days we've spent together. Before you I wasn't afraid of dying and leaving this life behind. Now a life without you seems to be unbearable. The few days I spend without you are maddening. You are my sanity. I've been waiting for someone like you for all my life. You're not only my boyfriend but my best friend. I can tell you anything and you accept me for the mess I am. You always help me find away to fix my problems. I wish I could spend every waking moment curled up next to you in bed. You are my everything. I try so hard to put all my feelings into words like this but this still isn't enough, nothing is enough. I wish I could show you an ounce, an inch of how I feel. You make me feel weightless and so full of hope. I love you from here to jupiter to pluto to mars and back and then all around again. I love you times a billion fajinity. I love you Richard Newman so much. I can not wait to grow old with you.

Gettin' Cold

Haiiiii! Okay so I'm sitting here freezing right now and I love it. I'm so excited for the holiday season and just spending time with the family and the boyfriend. Still working at Peter Becker. Makes me want to kill myself because I have to work every god damn day for 3 hours and I still only make 235 every two weeks. I need a new job so bad I can't afford life anymore. Went shopping last week with Richard and the mall just sucked. My shoes weren't in my size and I just wanted to cry but atleast I got him his shirt he's wanted. We went to the outlets after I finished work and that was much more fun. This week is going by so slow. I do the same thing every day. Wake up; Do school; Go to work; Gym; Sleep. I like the weekends so much more because atleast Richard's here and we do stuff together. The nights are always the worst because i get so cold and I just want to cuddle into my warm boyfriend. I really need a car so I can go see him during the week. It's rough going a whole week without him. When you realize someone is your life you don't want to be without them. I can't stop playing Gears 2 either. I'm obsessed with Horde and it's killing my life that I don't have haha. I'm trying to think of something fun Richard and I could do for a day. I want to go to New York so bad but without a car that's impossible. Maybe in December I can find a car and we can go there for shopping because it's so beautiful when its close to Christmas. Miss those days :]. Alright well I guess I should pay attention in class now. This blog is boring and pointless. MUCH LAYTA.

Obama '08

So as we all know Barack Obama is now elected the 44th president. I feel like some people are looking past the actual history that we've made here! Last night Barack said it himself; the blacks came over here first in chains slaving to our every word and now look! A black man himself is running our country. This is just an amazing time and a very hopeful start. I have so much faith in this man and I have no doubt he's going to clean up the mess that we've started. I've decided that along with a change in the world it is time for a change in myself. I feel like I've almost let myself go and it kind of sucks. I'm going to start going to the gym again &taking care of myself better. I need a new change to my hair too and as soon as I get the money that's going to happen to. &of course a nice shopping day to feed into my addiction. Everything else in life has been good. I've had a weird last couple of days with Richie but I've just been a grumpy head and I'm feeling much better now. I don't get to see him this weekend which kind of sucks but at the same time I know we need to spend time with our friends. Still makes me sad though. I think I've found a new job which will be nice to have money and a car for once right?! Well with that I'm out to do some school. <3

Happy Days

I literally just want to delete every post in my blog because they are so stupid; and I actually think I'm going to. I'm so done with looking at the past, and the bad things, and i'm so ready to move forward with all the new people in my life. I have to work everyday to pay the bills and still be happy but it's so worth it! I get to see my boyfriend every weekend and when I'm lucky he stays the entire time. I can not put into words how whole he has made me. He's still the best person to ever walk into my life. He's helped me be strong through so much and I just can't imagine anything without him.

Gabby's party was fun. Some people were lame/weird, but all in all I had a good time. Richie took care of me and helped me win beer pong :]. But I did sleep on the floor with him all night and let me tell you that was the worst night of sleep in my life. After everyone left it was nice to crawl into my bed with him though. We slept all day and then saw Saw5! Which I guess was kind of lame, except when Richie jumped. It made me giggle.

This weekend coming up is going to be fun. Working all day this week and party on Friday at Westchester. I really wanted to see my baby, but I'm not sure if that is going to workout. I get my new phone sometime this week to! I got the G-1! I'm so excited. Well I'm going to get off and go lay down. <3

Short & Simple

Okay, so yesterday was pretty good. Show was kind of a bust with all the people, but it was way worth getting to see some of my friends I don't see much. Best part was Bonez asking for a pic with hayley williams WHAA?! haha. Stina and I downed some coke and jack before going to the show so we rapped about some dicks in butts and ass to mouth i don't even know. Sorry Raf.

Richard and I are dating again. I sometimes can't even believe my life, or how lucky and happy I am right now. I forgot how much he means to me, and I can't even believe how I lived without him. I'm not the clingy or obsessive type though. I don't mean any of this in that kind of way. Its just when you're in love and you try to express it in words it sometimes comes out that way. I've never wanted to do anything for anyone before; but with him i want to do everything in my power to make him happy. I'd take a bullet for this kid. I'm just so happy with where God has lead me. I thank him so much everyday.

Schools a joke bye.

they're all the same

This Post has nothing to do with my life anymore; so I deleted it.